I can admit it I cried a lot on the plane and deep inside, I was deeply worried about this. I was scared to be the new girl, scared to meet my dad again and scared of the change. Because there was no doubt that things were going to change, what if it wasn’t a good change? They called out that the plane was landing and everybody had to fasten their seatbelts. I looked out of the window and examined my new home.   

I looked around at the airport trying to find my dad and saw a tall pretty muscular middle-age man waving with a sign that said ‘Welcome Home Carly’. I had actually pretty much forgotten about how my dad looked or more likely repressed it. That was how I handled hard things; I repressed them and put them aside, stopped thinking about them. Because I hated crying it made me feel weak and exposed.
“Carly over here!” My dad yelled and caught my attention. I started to walk over to him with a fake smile on my lips, act like nothing is wrong I told myself over and over again. He met me halfway and took me in for a big hug which surprised me a lot.
“I’ve missed you so much it has been so long since I saw you!” I wasn’t the one who left us, you got yourself to blame I thought and had to bite my tongue to not say it out loud.
“Yes it’s fun to see you again dad” He took a step backwards without letting me go and examined me from top till toe.
“Wow, you have grown so much! My little girl is becoming a woman!”
“Yes I guess so, a lot can happen in four years” I said and hoped that he got the little message about how long it was since he met me. 
“Carly you got to understand that I had no choice but leaving you, it’s hard to explain but I hope that you can forgive Me.”
“No actually I don’t understand but I just have to accept it now since I’m stuck here with you right?” I know it were spitefully to accuse him like that and I regretted it when I saw how hurt he got by my words but he needs to know what he did to his family.  
“I’m truly sorry Carly and you’ll see that Ireland isn’t as bad as you think I promise”
“We’ll see about that” I said sarcastically.

The ride from the airport to dad’s house in Mullingar can be described as very awkward. It was most my fault actually, dad tried to start a conversation a couple of times but I wasn’t in the mood for any talking. I looked out the window the whole way home trying not to think too much and time passed pretty fast because he next thing I saw was a big white house. I got out from the car and wondered how he could afford a house like this, my mum’s little apartment was nothing against this. Apparently my dad saw my big surprised eyes because when I looked at him he smiled and I saw maybe a little bit hope in his eyes, probably hoping that I liked it.
“So should we go in and I can show you your room?” If my room were even half as good as the outside of this house I would be more than happy.
“Yes” I answered and gave him a real smile, first real one today actually.

He opened the door to my room and I slowly walked in and was amazed. My room was almost bigger than our old apartment, this was not as half as good as the outside of the house it was ten times better.
“You haven’t seen the best yet!” my dad said and went to open a door in my room that I hadn’t even noticed. It led into my very own walk in closet!
“Wow dad, this house is perfect! My room is perfect!” It made him happy to hear me say that, good because I still felt guilty for being rude to him at the airport and in the car maybe this could make up for that.
“I told you that it wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought!”
“You said Ireland wasn’t going to be as bad as I thought, I’ve only seen my room. I got the whole town to se before its time to decide if it’s bad or not.”
“But it’s a good first impression at least! I will leave you to pack your things up, come down when you’re done and I will make us some dinner.”
“Okay sounds good!” He gave me a little smile and then closed the door and I heard him walk down the stairs. I jumped down on my bed and looked around and examined every single bit of the room. It was big and almost everything went in a tint of blue color, I was surprised that my dad remembered that blue was my favorite color. I walked over to my desk and noticed a laptop on it; he had even brought me a new laptop! I can’t say that I didn’t like all this, I mean I’m not used to having this kind of luxury. But if he thought he could buy my love he was terribly wrong. I started pack up all my things and found a picture of me and Alexi, when I saw it I couldn’t keep the tears away. I wonder what she’s doing now I thought to myself. I missed her a lot already. I put the picture next to my bed, whatever happens I will always have Alexi even if she’s miles from here she will always be there for me when I need her. When I was finished i dried my tears away and decided that they were my last tears that I’m dropping on things I can’t change anymore this was my new life I have to accept it and make the best out of it.

“I’m going out for a while!” I screamed to my dad.
“Take your phone with you and don’t get lost please!” Like I would get lost in little Mullingar? If I handled London I would probably handle Mullingar too. I took my skateboard and went out. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going but I made the skateboard go faster and faster through the neighborhood and suddenly out of nowhere I saw a boy in front of me and I didn’t had time to stop so I went directly in to him and flew of the skateboard and landed harsh at the ground. I groaned and tried to stand up but fell down again when i tried to stand on my foot, god it hurts.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t saw you coming are you okay?” I looked up at the boy, he was probably a little bit older than me, had blond hair and I got lost in his beautiful blue eyes.
“No it was my fault I shouldn’t have gone so fast!” I tried to get up from the ground but once again I fell down and groaned.
“Shit!” my foot hurts so badly. The boy looked worried at me.
“Are you okay?” He said and sat down next to me.
“No not really, my foot hurts like hell!”  
“I live in the house right over there” he said and pointed at the second house from where we sat and then continued “I can help you there and either drive you to the hospital or call you parents or something?”
“Thanks but I’m okay I think I just need to sit down and rest and it will be better in a little while!”
“You do not look that okay, please let me help you?” He looked at me with a glance that I couldn’t say no to.
“Okay then.” I answered and was just trying to get up again when I felt his arms around me and suddenly  he had lift me up from the ground and started to walk over to his house.
“What are you doing! I can walk by myself!” He gave me a look that silenced me directly but I sighed high to show him that I wasn’t happy with this. He laughed at me.
“I’m Niall Horan by the way.” he said and gave me a big smile.   

Chapter 2
With heavy steps I walked up to my room and jumped down on my bed. Alexi had talked so much about these One Direction boys that I even got a headache. She’s freaking obsessed with them! And that's not positive!
“Carly! Can you come down please?” I heard my mum calling.
“On my way!”  I sighed and got up from the bed and once again walked down the stairs with heavy steps and towards the kitchen. 
“What?” I said and leaned myself against the doorframe. My mum looked up and smiled at me, but it wasn’t a real smile. It didn’t reach her worried eyes.
“Carly sit down, I have to talk to you” I swallowed and walked over to the chair against her and sat down. This could not be good. 
“What is it mum? You look worried, has something happened?”
“Actually it has” I could see how she swallowed and looked down at the table. I looked questioning at her waiting for her to start talking.
“I’m really sorry Carly but it has been a lot of things going on at my work lately and they fired me last week.” I looked surprised at her.
“Why haven’t you told me earlier? But don’t worry mum, we can solve this out together, it’s going to be okay I promise!” She looked up at me and I realized this wasn’t everything, she wasn’t finished.
“Carly it’s not going to be okay, not right now. I’ve talked to your dad and we have decided that you’re moving to him.” I looked at her with big eyes, this was just too much. I don’t want to leave everything I have here. And my dad lives on Ireland so I’m not just leaving London I’m leaving the country too!
“Mum he lives on Ireland!”I felt how tears started to run down my face.
“I know but I really can’t afford to maintain us both here, I have to sell the apartment and who knows when I will get a new job again? It’s better for you to live with your dad right now” My dad left us 4 years ago and we didn’t heard from until about a year ago but I have refused to talk to him and now I have to move to him.  
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. Without even asking me first! I don’t want to move, especially not to him and definitely not to Ireland!” She leaned forward and grabbed my hands to comfort me but I tore them away.
“Carly please try to understand! I really don’t want to do this but what choice do I have?”
“You always have a choice, and you know what happened with dad. Am I just supposed to act like nothings ever happened when I meet him? I can’t believe this…”

I can’t believe this…

“This time I don’t have a choice Carly! I think it’s a good thing to move to your dad and I think you two will sort everything out. You need your dad in your life to, see it as a new start. ”
“More like an end of my entire life” I said and quickly got up from my chair, consciously overturned it and quickly put my shoes on and ran out. Right before I slammed the door I could hear my mum shout after me. I ran down my street and set direction home to Alexi. As I ran I felt tears streaming down my face.

Alexi saw me coming so she opened the door and I ran into her arms. How will ever be able to get through every single day without her by my side? I have to leave my best friend and for what? For absolutely nothing! I cried hysterically, the tears wouldn’t stop coming.
“It’s going to be fine Carly, don’t worry” she said and hugged me harder trying to comfort me. She was wrong it’s not going to be fine. 
“No it’s not going to be fine Alexi, you don’t understand! I have to leave London and move to Ireland!” “I know Carly, and I’m going to miss you like hell! But maybe your mum is right? Think about it” How did she know? But then it all came up to me. I took a step backwards and looked at her.
“You knew all along didn’t you?” Her cheeks slowly turned red, she was ashamed. And I was right.
“Yes” she whispered.
“Let me guess my mum told you?” I said shortly
“Yes but Carly she told me I couldn’t tell you! Or more like she forbid me to tell you!” She took a step against me but I backed off.
“When did she tell you?”
“About a week ago I think.”
“So you have known for a whole week and acted like nothing?”
“Carly you have to understand how hard it has been for me; don’t you think I wanted to tell you? How do you think it feels to shut up about something like this for your best friend?”
“I can’t believe this! Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea moving to Ireland anyways” I said and got out and slammed the door. Second door slammed today, great. So my mum let me down and now my best friend too.

I walked down the streets in London, just walking since I had nowhere to go. I looked around at my home, the town I spent my whole life in, where I had all my memories in.  And now I was supposed to leave everything. I don’t know how long i walked around crying but when it was completely black outside I stood outside my own house. I saw my mum through the window and when she saw me she went to open the door. I could see that she had been crying and when we looked at each other we both started to cry again.
“Carly, do you know how long you have been out? We’ve been so worried”
“We?” I asked, she turned around and I saw Alexi walk out of the kitchen behind her. I walked up to them and we all met in a big hug. I couldn’t be mad at them; this wasn’t their fault after all. And right now I really needed that hug and most of all I needed them more than ever.

The week went really fast and Alexi stayed at our place the whole week, we spent so much time together as we could because we didn’t know when we were going to see each other again. Late nights and early morning and suddenly the week was over and now I stood here with all my bags at the airport with both my mum an Alexi. None of us said much but we all cried, I know I would see them again but they have been with me my whole life. My lovely and caring mum and my crazy and funny best friend how will I be able to get through even a day without them? We heard the callings to my flight and walked over to the gate.
“So I guess this is goodbye then” they nodded and we all met in a big hug.
“Take care, I love you and don’t forget to call. Say hello to your dad from me, I love you” my mum said and kissed me on the forehead.
“I promise and I love you too” I whispered and turned to Alexi.
“I’m going to miss you sister, promise to call me too?”
“I’m going to miss you like hell and I promise I will call you every day”
“And don’t let anyone get to you okay? I won’t be there to stand up for you anymore so now you have to do it by yourself promise me you can handle that too girl?” she said with a smile and punched me easily on my arm. I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Of course Alexi, don’t worry I can handle it” I hugged them both one more time and then I walked against the gate. Against my new life.